FLOWER VASE

[Sanmeet Kaur Sarna]

The moment I enter my room

My eyes they rest upon that vase

The one that stands by window to

Announce I’ve got some pretty flowers.

 

The floral print all over it

Matches well with daisies white

I sometimes add more colours to

The bunch of flowers I put inside.

 

The corner where it stands so still

Looks lively all through seven days

Though bees and birds often visit

But butterflies have special gaze.

[Susan Katz]

Thank you for sharing your work with me.  There are some lovely moments in your poem, but I believe you may have some difficulty with the grammatical rules of English, such as tenses.  Take some time to go over your poem and see if you can tighten and clarify it, by changing, adding, or deleting some words/phrases to give it a more meaningful translation into English.  I do think you will have a delightful “word picture” poem here after you’ve spent some time, as all poets must, editing.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Author]

Posts