Home Forums Poetry Talk For moments to come…

Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #18035
    RG983
    Participant

    Wandered have I much in the realms of lust,
    Tracing the dimension of ardent devotion;
    Lost which is now, such the humanity is cursed-
    Entangled in possession, which was immersed in this potion.
    With flowers to be decked on the radiant moon,
    And arms open wide as eternal blue skies
    Greets which the clouds, brushed with gloom
    Or the radiant sun unfolding life’s surprise.
    In anticipation, I stay for good days to advance,
    Since time, tis’ daring all wishes to efface,
    All memories to cherish, all goodwill in glance;
    Omitted by the soul, in a moment’s disgrace,
    Ergo, longer they stay, O keep them grabbed with love
    Ergo, longer they stay, they shower benevolence from above.

    -R.G.

    #18716
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Thank you so much for submitting your “anticipation” poem for consideration to be featured on my https://www.poetladykatz.com website.  You have some very good lines and some powerful emotions.  Your poem does need some editing when it comes to meaningful and appropriate English grammar.  Also, I would, if I may, suggest that you “tighten your poem.” 

    Example – “Flowers deck the radiant moon / arms open wide / as eternal blue skies / greeting clouds/ brushed with gloom…”

    You definitely have the skill of the poet and a wonderful grasp of the meaning and power of imagery.  With some work, I would definitely consider featuring your poem.

    I thank you again for submitting your work and look forward to rereading, if and when you choose to resubmit.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

     

     

Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.