I Feel

[Monisha]

A glance is enough to make me feel,

To make me feel loved and wanted and beautiful.

A touch is enough to make me feel

To make me feel alive and young and Existing.

 

When I gaze upon him, in all his glory and finess,

I can feel a stirring, deep deep inside me

When I touch my lips to his,

The stars in my eyes shine so bright.

 

As we bind together and fuse as one,

The world trembles and explodes and shatters to pieces.

And as I sign with pleasure and joy,

His name upon my lips, his arms around me, his heart next to mine.

 

I feel

 

I feel loved and wanted and beautiful and alive.

 

 

 

[Susan Katz]

What a very lovely, emotional. and upbeat poem.  How delightful are those feelings that you share with us, the feelings that “he” brings to you!  Thank you for submitting your poem for consideration for Featured Poem of the Month for December.

I rarely ask a poet to give us more but, in your case, I know I would find your poem more persuasive if you told us your feelings through imagery – for example: “As we bind together and fuse as one…”  “As we bind together like raindrops becoming one with the sea…”  Also, “As I “sign” with pleasure…” should be “As I “sigh” with pleasure…”

I think you have something special here and, with some editing and some inclusion of imagery (the heartbeat of any poem) you will have a truly fine poem to share.

You friend in poetry, Susan

 

 

 

 

[Author]

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