Maze

[Tiny glowing star]

This soul

This heart

Always engaged in,

Faraway troubles

Of my loved ones…

I cannot even build

A shield for them,

For I have always been a onlooker,

Unable to even speak for myself….

This soul

This heart

Has long stopped,

Responding to this troubled

World like maze…

-Swetha

@tinyglowingstar

 

[Susan Katz]

Thanks so much for sharing this very heartfelt poem with me.  I wonder if “build a shield” is not “be a shield…”  You definitely engage the reader and transmit your feelings – which, of course, is what poetry is all about.  My only other suggestion would be to go through the poem and see if there are words that could be removed.  In poetry, less is more…

Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Author]

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