Home Forums Poetry Talk Mesmerizing Moments

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  • #17885
    SriSougandhika
    Participant

    The moment was short and exciting
    Overwhelming too in fact,
    Isn’t it too interesting,
    That happiness stayed intact!

    On seeing the bright smiles
    In the photographs,
    We remember those places far away in miles,
    That the photo traps.

    It brings a smile on our face,
    Longing for that moment once more,
    Like the shell playing with water’s pace,
    Which is later washed ashore.

    #18512
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    I very much like the tone of your poem and your ending is quite lovely.  I think we are all somewhat enchanted by old photographs and the memories they stir in us.  I’m wondering if you might want to try to paint some word pictures for these vivid thoughts – example: “we remember those places far away in miles” might become – we remember mountains rising out of the mist – or, rivers that flowed to the sea — or, flowers or clouds – whatever memory the photo conjures up.  Poetry is so much more powerful when we can “see, taste, touch, smell, and hear” the images that the poet is creating.  Thank you so very much for sharing your work with me.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

    #18517
    SriSougandhika
    Participant

    Thankyou soo much! I'll try to enhance the poetry more and will come again with a new one!

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