My Bathroom Mirror

[Shabnam Ameen]

It stares me blush,
Over the appreciated task.
It hears my scream,
When I am shattered.
It gazes my smile
Upon the flattery words.
It knows my conspired theory
Against the hypocrites.
It sees me exhausted
At the motherhood age
It leverages me up
The moments I am broken.
It makes me feel lively
After the odd spent days.
It’s aware of changes
That my body adapts
It still adores my beauty
With a beautiful smile.

And that’s the virtual ‘ME’

[Susan Katz]

I really like the concept of your poem.  There are some lovely lines and some very meaningful moments in the poem.    I think you need to check some of the grammar and the meaning of words and how they interact with other words – for example:  ‘It gazes my smile” is not quite right.  My smile gazes back at me – would work – but the mirror can “reflect” your smile – “mirror” your smile – “echo” your smile but not “gazes” your smile.  Also, may I suggest you read your poem aloud trying to find the rhythm that works and in doing so, you may find there are a number of words you could remove from the poem, without damaging the meaning but, in the end, making the poem even more powerful.  I think you did a great job and really like this poem and where it takes the reader.  Thank you so very much for sharing it with me, Susan

[Author]

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