O dear Humanity

[Fahad Khalique]

O dear humanity!
O beloved humanity!
You’re very precious to me
And I don’t want you to forfeit
Let’s migrate to some other place;
Into the hut of a destitute
So that you can breathe freely
And cherish your presence.

Do you know?
This world is enemy;
To beautiful things,
To divine creations,
To heavenly souls,
To morality and ethics
And, i must acknowledge
You will feel alone
Humiliated and alienated
On the earth, full of humans.

You’ll be allegedly abused
People will laugh at you
They will teach you humanity
How to behave, talk and meet
Beyond this how to treat
And at the last
You will be hanged, claiming inhumane.

Remember, this is a post-truth era
Where lie lies on the tongue of justice
And truth suffocates into the hands of lady justice
Sympathy and forgiveness find no shelter
Peace and harmony are extinct.

You tell me:
What people will do?
By adhering to you;
It will be a grave loss to them ;
They will be mocked
In your accompany
And people will call them
Uncivilised and outdated.

Hail to the entire world!
When you will be rejected,
Like satan defied Adam,
By majority of the wits
And nobody will follow you
So, I suggest, better to leave,
This glittering and desired world,
To reside in the hut of a destitute.

[Susan Katz]

Thank you so much Fahad Khalique, for sharing this very powerfully imagined poem.  I have noticed some grammatical errors and also some spelling errors but, the poem gets its message across.  I can feel the passion and the need to speak your truth. 

I very much like the stanza below – you make some very distinct and emotional statements and I would like to just offer a few suggestions on how I think the stanza (and the poem) might benefit from a bit of editing.  See my suggestions in parenthesis below:

 

Remember, this is a post-truth era (I would remove the comma and just say – “Remember this ‘the’ post-truth era…”)
Where lie lies on the tongue of justice (Where lies lie on the tongue of justice – I love this line!!!)
And truth suffocates into the hands of lady justice (I might just say that “truth suffocates” and not use lady justice or justice again.)
Sympathy and forgiveness find no shelter (I would remove the “and” – sympathy forgiveness find no shelter…)
Peace and harmony are extinct (You might want to say “Peace and harmony ‘go’ extinct”)

I think you should be very proud of the passion, purpose, and poetic technique that you have put into this poem.  Thank you so much for sharing with me, Susan

 

[Fahad Khalique]

Thank you so much Susan Katz for such valuable suggestions. It will carve my poetic persona in a healthy way. I thoroughly appreciate your poetic benevolence and mentorship. Gratitude Galore.

[Susan Katz]

You are so welcome. This troubled world could very much benefit from the words spoken from your poet's heart. I appreciate your trust in me and look forward to reading more of your work. Your friend in Poetry, Susan

[Author]

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