You have certainly done a very fine job of sustaining the “S” sound throughout your poem. Sometimes, when we concentrate on one element of a poem, we neglect other, equally ( or more important ) elements such as, imagery and clarity of meaning. I particularly like the “Strains of sun that stain the summer.” You have some fine skills. I would suggest you try your hand at writing poem(s) that delve into the world of meaning, imagery and rhythmic considerations. I think you would do very well. Thank you so much for sharing your poem with me, Susan
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