surrender

[Comfort]

Flag raised, white.

I surrender.

Onto you, my walls shall bow,

My bridges shall no longer arch,

My guards will hold no arms, nay, I will not have guards,

 

                                      I surrender.

My truth without a mask,

My self without remorse,

my castle without paint to hide my cracks,

onto you I surrender my whole,

 

The key to my castle, I surrender to you.

[Susan Katz]

I would only make one suggestion.  Your last line might be more powerful, and poetic, if it were to read – “The key to my castle to you (line break) “I surrender.”  Your poems are well written, emotionally compelling and engaging.  I am delighted that you have chosen to share them with me.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Author]

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