Sword and shield

[Himasri Baishya]

He growled and disappeared –

“You are not the only one who is in pain..

You are the one with experiences but a stollen brain…” 

 

I wrote –

“Yes, I am not the only one who is in pain..

Omg!! Thank god, that life is more pathetic than mine – a way towards inspiration gain

Even after my creator’s funeral,

Even after my special bond’s forever farewell,

Even after the forcefull replacement of my creator,

Even after sacrificing more and more…

Now, the ‘inspiration gain’ way is locked,

With the ‘life – death fight’ of a girl’s first hero is being poked.”

 

I wrote because –

there’s no ear to hear,

there’s no hands to wipe out tears

But there’s my pen and paper

Pen being the sword, cutting down the track of pain

Paper being the shield, distracting by shielding pain.

 

 

 

 

 

[Susan Katz]

Your poem is strong emotionally and certainly gets its message across.  I find your ending to be very powerful and persuasive and I’m sure poets everywhere, can relate to it.  I hope you will read my lesson that will be put up on the site this Friday – as it talks about how, in poetry, less is more.  Repetition tends to detract from the power of the poem.  Find one good image, one meaningful way to say what you want us to know and then, move on to the next thing.  I feel your passion and believe you have great possibility – so please – keep writing and if you are so inclined, sharing your poems here in my Chat Room.  I look forward to reading them, Susan

[Author]

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