'The Curve' by Arjit Bansal

[Arjit Bansal]

A simple curve
Upwards like the Sun, my Sun, brightening up the heavens and everything in its wake
Downwards like the clouds, rain clouds, claiming the sky in scattered patches of grey

An artist’s love
Skybound like a mountain, the tallest mountain, inviting all the hikers to try and stake claim
All around like a river, the purest river, not sure if to swim or stand guard so it always stays the same

A rainy night
Impactful like a blessing, the nature’s blessing, can’t help but stare with mouth agape
Scornful like a storm, the darkest storm, bound to devastate all witnesses of its distorted shape

A lost fight
Inevitable like love, falling in love, I tried to resist but I wasn’t strong enough perhaps
Soft as pair of lips, her lips, I’ve never been one for nature but she makes me an enthusiast

[Susan Katz]

Very well done.  I think you have done a fine job of using and sustaining, imagery.  Your rhyme, for the most part, is not intrusive, and so it works without interfering with the rhythm and intent of the poem.  I like the progression from nature to “her” and like the part she plays in your appreciation of nature.  Unfortunately, your poem is too long for me to feature in my current request for two to four line poems, un-rhymed and using imagery.  If you would like to choose a stanza that you’d like me to feature, I would be happy to do so.  I would like to suggest, before you send anything back to me, that you go back over your poem and see if you can find words that are not needed for the rhythm, meaning, emotion, and energy of the poem.  In poetry, less is more!  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Arjit Bansal]

Thanks a lot for your wonderful review. I’m sorry, I didn’t know that you had requested for a 2-4 line poem without a rhyme scheme. I generally write longer stuff. I’m not sure what words I could reduce from this one but it’d be an honour if you could feature a stanza of it. I would say that it’s up to you to choose whichever one you like but I guess my personal favourite would be the second one. 

Thanks Again

 

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