Wish

[Madhatter]

Sing me to sleep

A lullaby to cure this madness

Unable even to weep

No tears come forth from this sadness

My mind keeps churning on and on

Distorting reality, creating illusions

Not far away is the break of dawn

 But here I lie, seeking solutions

Sing me to sleep Mother

I have long lost that comforting touch

One hand on my weary eyes and another

Turning all my agitation to mush.

[Susan Katz]

Thank you so much for sharing your lovey poem with me.  Your poem is lyrical and gentle and I love the line “Sing me to sleep Mother…” but I would also suggest that you not lean so heavily on rhyme.  The word “mush” at the end seems somehow forced — as though you were struggling to find something to rhyme with touch.  Trust imagery to take you to that place where you connect with the reader and make them feel what you want them to feel.  Example: “My agitation melts like frost at the touch of dawn.”

I will be considering your poem for Featured Poem of the Month for December.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Author]

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