Welcome to my Poet Lady Chat Room. I would like to invite you to click on the chat box and type in a question, a suggestion, submit a poem, in other words – “chat with me.” I may, if you submit a poem, decide to feature it in my Poem of the Week section or, we may simply exchange ideas and suggestions about your poem.

This is a place to “talk” poetry with someone who has loved it all her life. I have a true passion for the possibilities of poetry and would love to hear your thoughts and/or read your poem. I will be happy to offer my reaction to your work and, based on over 40 years of teaching poetry, organizing, and conducting poetry workshops, working as a book review editor for an international poetry magazine, authoring five books of poetry and two textbooks on teaching poetry, send along my thoughts on ways to make your poem stronger and more impactful.

If you’re on my site, you have a connection to poetry. Feel free to connect with me – right here -right now, by typing your message into the “chat box” and clicking send. I’m waiting…

 

Your friend in poetry, Susan

FEATURED POEM
Back to Poetry Talk...

------- (1 reply)

Sarah01
2 years ago
Sarah01 2 years ago

Busy bee

Do you hear the ferocious sun?

You must.

I wake up and

I already sprint and run.

Did you sneak a peek, bee?

If you haven't,

The birds won't sing.

 

I lie and i lie, for your sake-

The cottage is stunted,

Is hidden from death-

 

He banged my door, yesterday bee

He blew my candles with all his force-

And i looked at his veins

They didn't flinch,

They were and bags and heaps

Of blood, cold

       

       

       

 

I was scared, little bee

The police didn't take a note-

I told them he was right there

By the creepers and the vines

They didn't know, didn't see-

I fell back to sleep

 

Morning, my little bee

Are you cold?

Go outside bee

I mustn't give you up

             -sarah 

 

 

(P.s. does this poem even make sense. I don't know. I just noticed someone literally wrote a bee poem.. i wrote this a while back tho. It's wonderful how we find inspiration in little things..) 🙂

 

 

Susan Katz
2 years ago
Susan Katz 2 years ago

Thank you for sharing your poem.  I love your opening - "

Busy bee

Do you hear the ferocious sun?"

"hearing" the sun is a lovely concept.

If I were to make some editing suggestions, they would be to go through your poem and make sure your lines are all grammatically correct and that every word you use in the poem, is needed.  In poetry, less is more.  Also, while I'm sure the meaning is perfectly clear to you, I am finding it difficult to comprehend the true meaning of the poem.  I think you have everything you need to craft a powerful and meaningful poem, it just needs some editing.  I would be delighted to read it again, if you would like to resubmit after you've had time to work on it.

Your friend in poetry, Susan

Back to Poetry Talk...