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Your friend in poetry, Susan

FEATURED POEM
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Caveat (2 replies)

beachessandseas
3 years ago
beachessandseas 3 years ago

We could crash into the ocean, 

and still, end up in flames.

Susan Katz
3 years ago
Susan Katz 3 years ago

Love this!  Concise and precise and says exactly what you want it to say and it does so, by creating two exciting images.  Well done!  If I were you and this were my poem, I would take out the commas and just let the poem flow - perhaps, leaving spaces ( 3 - 5)  where you now have commas.  The reason I suggest this is because the poem is so short - the images - one following the other - both powerful and I do feel the commas are like "stop signs" slowing us down from taking it all in a single, powerful "gulp."  Either way - commas or no commas, I will be featuring your poem on a future Instagram page post.  Thank you so very much for sharing,  Susan

beachessandseas
3 years ago
beachessandseas 3 years ago

Thank you so much, Susan! I am really glad you liked the poem. Please feel free to edit out the commas while posting the poem on your Instagram page. Thanks for the valuable feedback. maybe we can also change ocean to sea:

We could crash into the sea

and still

end up in flames.

Thanks!

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