Poetry Talk

Welcome to my Poet Lady Chat Room. I would like to invite you to click on the chat box and type in a question, a suggestion, submit a poem, in other words – “chat with me.” I may, if you submit a poem, decide to feature it in my Poem of the Week section or, we may simply exchange ideas and suggestions about your poem.

This is a place to “talk” poetry with someone who has loved it all her life. I have a true passion for the possibilities of poetry and would love to hear your thoughts and/or read your poem. I will be happy to offer my reaction to your work and, based on over 40 years of teaching poetry, organizing, and conducting poetry workshops, working as a book review editor for an international poetry magazine, authoring five books of poetry and two textbooks on teaching poetry, send along my thoughts on ways to make your poem stronger and more impactful.

If you’re on my site, you have a connection to poetry. Feel free to connect with me – right here -right now, by typing your message into the “chat box” and clicking send. I’m waiting…

 

Your friend in poetry, Susan

FEATURED POEM
Back to Poetry Talk...

Dare (1 reply and 1 comment)

anushkasharma
2 years ago
anushkasharma 2 years ago
Smelling fresh flowers, every other day,
Spreading a smile, with the sun’s each ray.
Wish I could just, see the sky again,
And dance happily, in the soothing rain.
Waiting and waiting, for that one time,
When I’d be free, and hear the wind chyme.
But suddenly, reason takes over,
And reminds me, that my spirits I should lower.
Because freedom is, far from my reach,
And it all began, with that awful beach.
It made me a prisoner, in my own mind,
I want to wake up, but many strings just bind.
Forcing me to stay, still and calm,
Promising it wouldn’t do any harm.
I just remember, that last day,
When there was a bullet, and I got in the way.
Am I alive? I ask my heart,
It says yes, and I begin right from the start.
That day I awoke, fresh and bright,
As I thought I’d be seeing, Hawaii and its light.
We decided to go, first to a beach,
I just want that day, to apply brakes with a screech.
And stop my car, from reaching there,
And then stop my life, to turn into a dare.
But it doesn’t, as for no one does time care,
For a moment I’m just happy, to breathe fresh air.
Then they come, and I watch them approach,
I thought they’d play football, and there’d be a coach.
How would I’ve known, that the bumps in every shirt,
Would be guns, which will surely hurt.
After an hour, lying in the sun,
I get up, to eat a good bun.
Were they just waiting, for me to get up,
And for me to approach, my coffee cup.
I don’t know, and will never figure out,
As they didn’t give time, for me to even shout.
That first bullet, went right through my arm,
And I imagined they wouldn’t, do any more harm.
But the next went, straight to the heart,
And it stopped beating, like someone pulled my life’s cart.
But it was revived, and they forced me to live,
A life of darkness, with meds that they give.
I can’t move, even my eyes,
And all those hopes, are just white lies.
Maybe someday, mercy would be done,
And I would be able, to again see the sun.
Everyone’s sobbing, and waiting for me,
They’ll be happy, if some movement they’ll see.
But they won’t, of that I’m aware,
‘Coz someone just came, to give me some care,
And take me, they say somewhere,
Where life for me, would no longer be a dare..... 
Anushka Sharma
 
Instagram: inkyquillscribblings_
Susan Katz
2 years ago
Susan Katz 2 years ago

Your poem is very narrative in nature and tells quite a passionate and emotional story.  Thank you so much for sharing it with me.  I would suggest, from the point of view of the technical nature of poetry, that you lean less heavily on the rhyme and concentrate more on making us feel, through imagery, what you are so passionately telling us - a sad and tragic story.  Bring us in with imagery - rhyme works but should not be the focus of the poem.  You have something meaningful to say - and you say it - now make it even more powerful by incorporating some strong images.

I will be considering your poem for Featured Poem of the Month for December.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

anushkasharma
2 years ago

Thanks Susan.

Back to Poetry Talk...