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Your friend in poetry, Susan

FEATURED POEM
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Dream love (1 reply and 2 comments)

suchitralata
5 months ago
suchitralata 5 months ago

The first blush of love

rosy shy doe eyed

trembling drop

at the edge of tender leaves

rainbow flighted

sun delighted

 

Deeper on to whispered

rush of unheard songs

tremolo of quiet delight

sweet coffee mornings

Sad happy swings

 

No bitter berry to

crush your taste of this

sky line of joy this

true wine from above

scatter the worry to those stars

shimmering late with jeweled tears

 

Close your eyes

dream love.

 

12 Feb, 2022

Suchitra Lata

Susan Katz
5 months ago
Susan Katz 5 months ago

Good Morning from here in Connecticut, Suchitra.  You have done it again.  Such a lovely, melodic poem.  Your first stanza sets the tone and we are immediately engaged, and delighted to go on this beautiful journey - love, through your eyes.  I do have one suggestion, as it was the only moment in the poem I stumbled a bit -

No bitter berry to

crush your taste of this

sky line of joy this

true wine from above

I think the stanza would flow more rhythmically if you removed one of the "this."  Example:  "No bitter berry to/ crush your taste/sky line of joy this/..."  Or, "No bitter berry to/crush your taste of this/sky line of joy/ true wine..."

Your poem is truly delightful - filled with a gentle - tempting view of love - with the wonderful advice:

"scatter the worry to those stars

shimmering late with jeweled tears" 

I will definitely be featuring your poem for our February love theme.  Probably next week. Thank you Suchitra.  I hope life is treating you well and that you're busy pursuing all of your many creative inclinations. 

Your friend in poetry, Susan

suchitralata
5 months ago

Dear Susan , thanks for your inspiration, I enjoy writing again. And am so glad to have my poem featured again on your website. Hope it brings a sense of engagement and happiness to all who read it! Will mail you the poem with the edits. Thanks for your insight! Yes, am busy and engaged 🙂 Much affection to you!

Susan Katz
5 months ago

Wonderful. You can resubmit here or, email it to me. It is a lovely way to celebrate the concept of Valentine's Day - and love. In Warm Friendship, Susan

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