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Your friend in poetry, Susan

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Why I write poetry? (1 reply and 1 comment)

haybav
3 years ago
haybav 3 years ago

I write a lot,
And try to convey
Those emotions in words
Which I may never say.

It just takes that poetic eye,
And a poetic soul, and a poetic mind
To decipher and unscramble those lines,
And read the feelings,
From those metaphoric signs.

The quill bleeds each day,
"The day was nothing but same,
The day wasted, maybe I am to blame...
What is to be done now?- the question which arises.
Am I, distancing myself, from those lovely prizes?"

The pen writes words,
And the paper attends scenes.
Those petty life segments,
Which I narrate with peace.

It never tells me what to do,
And maybe that is what I want
It couldn't tell me where I went wrong,
Maybe that is what I sought.

Want to vent it all out,
Want to escape the world
N' confide into those bindings,
Of those clueless papers.

It's not that I am lonely,
Or have no one to confide,
But those emotions of my spirit,
No human can suffice.

Susan Katz
3 years ago
Susan Katz 3 years ago

I congratulate you on a very emotional poem that has some wonderful moments in it. 

"The pen writes words,
And the paper attends scenes."

"The quill bleeds each day..."

"And read the feelings,
From those metaphoric signs."

If I were to critique your poem, what I would say is - you tell us too much and show us too little.  You have a fine sense of imagery and a strong commitment to the emotional message of the poem.  As my first mentor used to tell me, choose the very best moments in your poem, the best images - and bring the whole poem up to that level.  I would also say that there is much that is said and then re-said - not the job of poetry to repeat itself.  Just tell us once, with an image we will never forget - and then move on to the next component of your poem.  I think you will discover you have some great poetry waiting inside of you, to be written.  Thank you so much for sharing - keep on writing and do share with me again, when you are ready.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

haybav
3 years ago

Thank you so much! Will surely try to improve as you said🌻

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