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Your friend in poetry, Susan

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Iam the lamp of my way (1 reply)

Seema Dinesh
3 years ago
Seema Dinesh 3 years ago

When I enter a dark pathway

I garner light as I sway

For I am the lamp of my way.

The darkness can't consume  me,

The deep dark cave can't hinder me.

For Iam the lamp of my way.

No matter how bleak and gloomy,

Let the cave be dark and desolate,

I can smoothen it away,

For Iam the lamp of my way,

For Iam the lamp of my dark pathway!

 

SeemaD

Susan Katz
3 years ago
Susan Katz 3 years ago

Very impressive poem.  I like your opening lines - they flow beautifully and set the stage for the rest of your message.  A few suggestions:  "can not" instead of "can't" - "smooth" instead of "smoothen" which does not exist in English - and separate "I" and "am" - and finally, I don't know if you need the last part of your ending line "of my dark pathway" as " "For I am the lamp" says it all.  Well done.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

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