Welcome to my Poet Lady Chat Room. I would like to invite you to click on the chat box and type in a question, a suggestion, submit a poem, in other words – “chat with me.” I may, if you submit a poem, decide to feature it in my Poem of the Week section or, we may simply exchange ideas and suggestions about your poem.

This is a place to “talk” poetry with someone who has loved it all her life. I have a true passion for the possibilities of poetry and would love to hear your thoughts and/or read your poem. I will be happy to offer my reaction to your work and, based on over 40 years of teaching poetry, organizing, and conducting poetry workshops, working as a book review editor for an international poetry magazine, authoring five books of poetry and two textbooks on teaching poetry, send along my thoughts on ways to make your poem stronger and more impactful.

If you’re on my site, you have a connection to poetry. Feel free to connect with me – right here -right now, by typing your message into the “chat box” and clicking send. I’m waiting…

 

Your friend in poetry, Susan

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I'm really bad at titles (2 replies)

Comfort
4 weeks ago
Comfort 4 weeks ago

My heart stretched out on the wings of a phoenix,

I live so I can die, so I can live again, so my flames can be warmth to new skin that I shall wear,

My smile is but a trumpet blown till my lungs surrender to the lack of oxygen,

The end is nigh, the end is nigh! But you do not hear it, you hear a sweet symphony,

oh, sweet child, how you’ve become nothing to everyone and everything to everyone but only for an instance, only when you’re needed,

how your mind has become a theatre,

death upon death, prewritten, you, your own executioner,

hush.

can you hear it? When you glimpse at a rope, or a blade laying seductively on the counter or when you walk too close to a bridge that’s high enough,

can you hear it? A mother’s call “my child, you’ve suffered, come onto me and know peace”

 

My smile is but a trumpet blown till my lungs surrender to the lack of oxygen,

My end is nigh, my end is nigh!

Let me die so I can be reborn again,

Susan Katz
4 weeks ago
Susan Katz 4 weeks ago

Good afternoon, Comfort.  There is certainly power and purpose in this poem.  Some great lines and some fine moments - for example:  "you’ve become nothing to everyone and everything to everyone..."  "

your mind has become a theatre,

death upon death, prewritten, you, your own executioner,"

I won't make any particular suggestions except to say - "less is more" in poetry.  In other words, if you can say something in three words, don't use five.  Try to find the most compact and powerful way of saying what you want us to know, to feel -using imagery (metaphor and simile) using alliteration, enjambment, hyperbole, rhyme and rhythm will help "translate" your poem into a tighter, more impactful poem.  There is power is your poetic voice - now, if you work on technique, you will have one very fine poem.  Thank you again, for sharing your work with me.  Have a lovely weekend, Susan 

Susan Katz
3 weeks ago
Susan Katz 3 weeks ago

Hi Comfort, I got your email with your poem, but cannot respond as you did not put in your email address.  If you resend with your email address, I can offer some suggestions.  - Susan

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