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Your friend in poetry, Susan

FEATURED POEM
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My Destiny (1 reply)

Candice
3 years ago
Candice 3 years ago

Dreams within hoping to be true

Reaching the skies so blue

The reason for this

Is the secret of bliss.

To fly so high flapping my wings

Into the deep sinking sea

I recall how I rose up

Amidst all the barriers

And trials immense.

All I wanted and ought to be,

Surprising it turned out to be.

Nothing but my destiny.

 

The journey was too long

Carried on my shoulders strong

Exhausted till I dropped,

Dissatisfaction maybe

Each time I persevere

With dedication and sincerity.

I get to know it’s incomplete

And room for improvement.

All I needed is guidance

For what was right and just.

That’s the motivation

That carved my destiny.

Candice M

Susan Katz
3 years ago
Susan Katz 3 years ago

Thank you Candice for sending again.  I think this work well.  I wonder if you have ever thought about "line break."  For example - instead of having your rhymes come at the end of each line - how about trying this...

Dreams within hoping

to be true reaching the skies

so blue      the reason

for this is the secret

of bliss.

I do think this helps make the poem more intriguing and invites the reader to move from line to line.  It's something to think about.  Once again, thank you so much for being a part of Poet Lady Katz.  Have a wonderful rest of your day, Susan

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