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My life changing decision. (1 reply)

Tiny glowing star
1 week ago

MY LIFE CHANGING DECISION!

 

I am a human being in youth,

While various decisions is laid out in sequence,

To interpret in thoughts,

Fighting with predicaments all along to make an ultimate decision!

 

I am not like Sherlock Holmes,

Making decision in an instant at home,

As I am staring over my dreams like goals,

With some soothing coffee in hand!

 

Different decisions with favourable paths,

While some are successful and unsuccessful in earth,

But always an option should waltz with the heart,

Indicating our intriguing interest in it!

 

An astonishing decision could open up a new beginning,

Also could create an unexpected moment in singing,

While there maybe some perils in paths,

I don't mind breaking that barrier apart altogether!

 

A story about my life,

Where I am the lead heroine in this stage,

If a decision could change this unpredictable stage,

It's the decision that makes me to endure and smile at the same time!

 

- tiny glowing star.

 

 

 

 

Susan Katz
1 week ago
Susan Katz 1 week ago

Thank you very much for sharing your work with me.  I very much like your theme - the uncertainty of the paths we will take, where our future may lead us, who we are and who we will become.  What I need here, to make this poetry and not prose, is more attention to poetic techniques.  For example:

 

An astonishing decision could open up a new beginning,  "Like lightning striking /  illuminating new beginnings"

Also could create an unexpected moment in singing,  "creating the song my heart's been singing."

We need, throughout the piece, the elements that will transform your "story" into poetry; metaphor, simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia, rhythm, rhyme...

Please feel free to share again, after you've had a chance to work on it.

Your friend in poetry, Susan

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