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Your friend in poetry, Susan

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My life my friends (1 reply and 1 comment)

Ayushi Vikrambhai Bhanderi
3 years ago
When you are not in my life  i am smile but ........                 When you come in to my life I am always smiling and Happy🤗🙂
 
When I am sad you are make me happy and   give my smile back ....😄😃.  
You are reason of my smile
You are  my life's best part and best person and best thing ....                                       You are that  person  who I never loss in my life  I never loss you  in to the my life        because you are part of my life...
Thank you so much                to come in my life                     and make my life beautiful and very joyful and memorable..🙂😊
 
 
Susan Katz
3 years ago
Susan Katz 3 years ago

What a lovely tribute to someone who, obviously, means the world to you.  You have certainly captured a mood, a feeling, and let us in to your heart, with your words.  There are, I'm afraid, a multitude of grammatical errors, as this poem tries to translate itself into English.  Instead of saying, "When you are not in my life i am smile but ........ "  in English it should read, "When you are not in my life I smile (take out the am.)  This is an amazing effort in a language that is obviously not the language you spoke from birth.  I truly thank you for sharing it with me and hope you spend some time rethinking and rewriting it, as you explore the grammar that will elevate your poem.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

Ayushi Vikrambhai Bhanderi
3 years ago

Thank you Susan for the tips

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