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Your friend in poetry, Susan

FEATURED POEM
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My love who calls you thy (1 reply)

Fahad Khalique
3 years ago
Fahad Khalique 3 years ago

Be someone's apple of the eye
And let her sadness passes by
Injustice to assign on her spy
You need not get it to verify

My love who calls you thy !

Just hold and stand beside my
Pain will automatically be fly
Don't ever more leave for cry
Tears have drifted to dry

My love who calls you thy !

She was Portraited in the Sky
Reckon, how much she's high
And you were left only to sigh
Justice is still asking Why

My love who calls you thy !

Why running after that guy
From earth to the sky
Whether someone is going to deny
both will solemnly come to die

My love who calls you thy !

Susan Katz
3 years ago
Susan Katz 3 years ago

Very romantic poem.  I am a bit confused by the line "My love who calls you thy..." is it "thine" or "mine" - thy, I don't think is quite the right word.  However, having said that, I can feel your emotion and genuine commitment to making us, the reader, feel something and be involved in the story you are telling.  Another suggestion - don't worry so much about the rhyme - poetry should be more dependent on imagery than a rhyme at the end of each line.  Thank you very much for submitting your poem.  I will consider it for Featured Poem of the Month for December.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

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