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My Magic Wand (1 reply)

1 year ago
A.Zaman 1 year ago
We all feel magic,
It spins through our souls.
And rushes into our minds,
It lifts the corner of our lips,
Into a smile.
It rushes in waves,
And makes tears flow from our eyes,
It boils our blood,
And makes our brows frown.
It hounds us day and night.
Sometimes we float,
Sometimes we sink,
Yes, i felt magic too, 
I felt it strong. 
But i found a wand, 
I found a pen. 
I found spells. 
I found a page. 
I found a remedy, 
For our souls. 
To share our happiness, 
To burrow our pain. 
We Will find a wand. 
We will find a spell. 
We will find a pen. 
We will find a page. 
We will write. 
And when our sorrows, 
Sear through, 
Pens that we hold, 
We will bleed ink, 
Onto paper, 
We will bleed away our souls. 
Our ink will bleed in torrents
And poetry,
Poetry will be bandages to these Wounds. 
Susan Katz
1 year ago
Susan Katz 1 year ago

Good job!  You have some very meaningful and powerful moments in your poem and you take us on the journey of the poet - from pain to purpose - to poetry.  I'm happy to consider your poem for Featured Poem of the Month for December.

I think you have done a fine job with this poem and would only suggest that you consider moments in the poem, that would benefit from imagery.  Example: "And makes tears flow from our eyes..."  Question - do you need "and makes" could not the line start with - "tears flow from our eyes (and here is where a great image could go) "tears flow from our eyes like..."

Also, I wonder, as poems are described as "the fewest words in the best possible order" - if you might not want to consider moving through your poem by taking out the repetition of "I found..."  "But I found a wand/ a pen/ spells/ a page/ a remedy/ for our souls..."

Well done - thank you so much for sharing your work with me, Susan

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