Poetry Talk

Welcome to my Poet Lady Chat Room. I would like to invite you to click on the chat box and type in a question, a suggestion, submit a poem, in other words – “chat with me.” I may, if you submit a poem, decide to feature it in my Poem of the Week section or, we may simply exchange ideas and suggestions about your poem.

This is a place to “talk” poetry with someone who has loved it all her life. I have a true passion for the possibilities of poetry and would love to hear your thoughts and/or read your poem. I will be happy to offer my reaction to your work and, based on over 40 years of teaching poetry, organizing, and conducting poetry workshops, working as a book review editor for an international poetry magazine, authoring five books of poetry and two textbooks on teaching poetry, send along my thoughts on ways to make your poem stronger and more impactful.

If you’re on my site, you have a connection to poetry. Feel free to connect with me – right here -right now, by typing your message into the “chat box” and clicking send. I’m waiting…

 

Your friend in poetry, Susan

FEATURED POEM
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Running to nothingness (1 reply and 1 comment)

Aviana
2 years ago
Aviana 2 years ago

Run, run, run
With my vision blurred
Teary eyed
Run and hide in motion
Oh when did it all go sideways
My skin is intact and my insides are twisted
I'm arranged in disarray
I'll hold my lungs
And watch my legs crumble
And as I move
And hope to disappear
I'll do it all alone.

Wrote something after almost two years I think. I hope it's atleast an "okay" poem.

 

 

 

Susan Katz
2 years ago
Susan Katz 2 years ago

So sorry for the delay in getting back to you. Been a hectic couple of days.

First, thank you for sharing your work with me.  Your poem, has a certain power to it - an edgy quality that I really like.  It is, I believe, more than an "OK" poem. 

I do have a few suggestions for possible edits - see below:

Run, run, run (Is it "run" or "running"?)
With my vision blurred (vision blurred)
Teary eyed
Run and hide in motion (Don't know if you need "run" again - remember, that in poetry, less is more - if you can say something in two words - don't use four...)  (Perhaps the line might work as "hiding in motion...")
Oh when did it all go sideways ( can you find a quicker, more powerful way to say this - "falling sideways...")
My skin is intact and my insides are twisted ("Skin in tact    insides twisted)
I'm arranged in disarray (this is great! - but, do you need "I'm")
I'll hold my lungs ("holding my lungs")
And watch my legs crumble ("watching my legs crumble")
And as I move
And hope to disappear ("hoping to disappear")
I'll do it all alone. ("I'm doing it     alone")

You've said it all - and we feel what you're telling us - these suggestions (just suggestions - feel free to disregard) are intended to confine the poem to the rules of poetry.  Well done and again, thank you so much for sharing with me, Your friend in poetry, Susan

Susan Katz
2 years ago

I responded to this poem. You did not send an email so the only way I can respond is through the chat room. I hope you get this. Susan

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