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The Red Saree ; Name: Yukta Hindurao Rane (1 reply)

Yukta Hindurao Rane
3 years ago

The glow of turmeric on her body,
Bathed with the whiteness of the milk,
She shines brighter than her yellow saree,
With the blush on her face slowly turning pink.

With the heena being pestled on the stone,
It's colour and purity spreads deep in her skin,
The depth of colour depends on their
Love enclosed in heart within!

She finally gets dressed in the shiny red saree,
The long sets and the long earrings she puts on,
With the red bangles, red bindi and diamond anklets,
Enters the marriage hall floored entirely in red carpet!

She walks with him the seven rounds,
She takes with him the seven vows,
Holding her hand and tied by the knot,
Finally puts the vermillion on her forehead with his love!

He ties the thread of black beads around her neck,
She dips her feet in the red water,
Stepping in the new home with him and looking behind,
To see her parents leaving their only daughter.

Susan Katz
3 years ago
Susan Katz 3 years ago

What a very lovely story you tell in this delicate and visual poem.  I like the way you bring in your rhyme, not too heavy-handed.  Your ending, as well, has such a lovely nostalgic feel to it.  From a pure poetry point of view, I believe the poem would benefit from more showing ("imagery - metaphor and simile") and less "telling" - but, overall, you speak clearly and tell a truly engaging story.  There are many very poetic moments as well.  Thank you so much for sharing your poem with me.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

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