Poetry Talk

Welcome to my Poet Lady Chat Room. I would like to invite you to click on the chat box and type in a question, a suggestion, submit a poem, in other words – “chat with me.” I may, if you submit a poem, decide to feature it in my Poem of the Week section or, we may simply exchange ideas and suggestions about your poem.

This is a place to “talk” poetry with someone who has loved it all her life. I have a true passion for the possibilities of poetry and would love to hear your thoughts and/or read your poem. I will be happy to offer my reaction to your work and, based on over 40 years of teaching poetry, organizing, and conducting poetry workshops, working as a book review editor for an international poetry magazine, authoring five books of poetry and two textbooks on teaching poetry, send along my thoughts on ways to make your poem stronger and more impactful.

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Your friend in poetry, Susan

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The Shadows,! (1 reply)

Tiny glowing star
2 years ago
Tiny glowing star 2 years ago

The shadows!

They are pitch-black,
Yet portray the happiness,
Immensely felt by the humans,
They do not speak,
Yet portray the emotions,
Inspite of being translucent,
When there is light,
They are figures in dark!
They stroll along,
With passionate humans,
Like an interesting story,
To pen down for years,
They have no boundaries,
To cross over,
They are totally real,
And not an illusion!
- Swetha.

 

 

Susan Katz
2 years ago
Susan Katz 2 years ago

Thank you for sending your very intriguing poem about shadows.  You have some very fine moments in the poem.  I do have a few suggestions I think, will help the flow and rhythm of your poem and, provide a more poetic cadence.  Your dedication to your writing is the first, and most important, step in becoming a writer/poet.  I am so pleased you choose to share your work with me.  - Your friend in poetry, Susan

Please see suggestions below:

They are pitch-black,
Yet portray the happiness, (I would take out "yet" and also, leave spaces instead of suing punctuation.  I believe your poem would have a lovely flow that way.)
Immensely felt by the humans, (don't know if you need "immensely" or "the" - just humans will do nicely)
They do not speak,
Yet portray the emotions, (portraying emotions - don't need "yet" or "the" - in poetry, less is more)
Inspite of being translucent, (just "translucent" says it all)
When there is light,
They are figures in dark! (figures in darkness)
They stroll along, (Is "stroll" the right word?  Do shadows stroll or do they glide/slip/slide, etc.)
With passionate humans, (beside passionate humans)
Like an interesting story, (nice)
To pen down for years, (nice - to pen down through the years?)
They have no boundaries, (nice - you used a poetic technique called enjambment - look that up - it's well done)
To cross over,
They are totally real, (These two lines say the same thing - can you combine them somehow to make one line that says it all?)
And not an illusion!

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