Welcome to my Poet Lady Chat Room. I would like to invite you to click on the chat box and type in a question, a suggestion, submit a poem, in other words – “chat with me.” I may, if you submit a poem, decide to feature it in my Poem of the Week section or, we may simply exchange ideas and suggestions about your poem.

This is a place to “talk” poetry with someone who has loved it all her life. I have a true passion for the possibilities of poetry and would love to hear your thoughts and/or read your poem. I will be happy to offer my reaction to your work and, based on over 40 years of teaching poetry, organizing, and conducting poetry workshops, working as a book review editor for an international poetry magazine, authoring five books of poetry and two textbooks on teaching poetry, send along my thoughts on ways to make your poem stronger and more impactful.

If you’re on my site, you have a connection to poetry. Feel free to connect with me – right here -right now, by typing your message into the “chat box” and clicking send. I’m waiting…

 

Your friend in poetry, Susan

FEATURED POEM
Back to Poetry Talk...

Ukiyo (1 reply and 1 comment)

Riya Jaiswal
3 years ago
Riya Jaiswal 3 years ago

The endings won't end you

set yourself free

with wings unfolded

there's beauty

this time, this place

go wild for a while

burn out the stars with me

memories were always priceless

as long as you wanted

I wanted the wanting

we were made of star dust

wandering in this cosmos

you give me fireflies

unlove me, please

a memory, a star, a stain

let me distract you

all I need is me

I'll never be that me again

let me pass through

the blazing fire

I'll come out as gold 

fight for the fairytale

let me find my wings

escape the ordinary

'rarity' is rare

you are someone to me

an unreasonable request

call me a nameless person

let me leave

for my fantasy. 

Susan Katz
3 years ago
Susan Katz 3 years ago

Good morning, Riya.  Thank you so much for submitting this lovely, lyrical, meaningful, and emotional poem.  Please see suggestions below:

The endings won't end you ("endings won't end you"  I would leave out capitalization and punctuation, as we don't use those "restrictions" in our thoughts or feelings and this is what this poem is all about.)

set yourself free

with wings unfolded (unfold your wings)

there's beauty (in)

this time, this place

go wild for a while (really like the way "wild" and "while" work together)

burn out the stars with me

memories were always priceless (were/are priceless - don't need "always")

as long as you wanted

I wanted the wanting

we were made of star dust

wandering in this cosmos (the cosmos)

you give me fireflies

unlove me, please

a memory, a star, a stain

let me distract you

all I need is me

I'll never be that me again (I'd move "again" to the next line)

let me pass through

the blazing fire

I'll come out as gold (golden)

fight for the fairytale (fight for fairytales)

let me find my wings (find wings)

escape the ordinary

'rarity' is rare

you are someone to me

an unreasonable request

call me a nameless person (call me nameless)

let me leave

for my fantasy.  (leave me to my fantasy)

This is a powerful and well written poem.  You understand the drama and flow of poetry and I truly enjoyed reading, and working on, this poem.  Please understand that my suggestions are just that, suggestions.  Feel free to disregard any, or all, that you disagree with.  I thank you for trusting me with your fine work and hope to get to some of your other poems, as time permits.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

 
 
Susan Katz
3 years ago

I forgot to mention - when you leave out punctuation, use spacing as a way of alerting the reader to a pause.

Back to Poetry Talk...