Poetry Talk

Welcome to my Poet Lady Chat Room. I would like to invite you to click on the chat box and type in a question, a suggestion, submit a poem, in other words – “chat with me.” I may, if you submit a poem, decide to feature it in my Poem of the Week section or, we may simply exchange ideas and suggestions about your poem.

This is a place to “talk” poetry with someone who has loved it all her life. I have a true passion for the possibilities of poetry and would love to hear your thoughts and/or read your poem. I will be happy to offer my reaction to your work and, based on over 40 years of teaching poetry, organizing, and conducting poetry workshops, working as a book review editor for an international poetry magazine, authoring five books of poetry and two textbooks on teaching poetry, send along my thoughts on ways to make your poem stronger and more impactful.

If you’re on my site, you have a connection to poetry. Feel free to connect with me – right here -right now, by typing your message into the “chat box” and clicking send. I’m waiting…

 

Your friend in poetry, Susan

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Victory like a mountain (1 reply)

Tiny glowing star
2 years ago
Tiny glowing star 2 years ago

Victory like a mountain!

 

A mountain is so high and steep,

So daring enough to make me deep,

In thoughts of reluctance,

He looks so mighty like a king!

 

I know another friend of him,

Who is the victory placed quite afar,

Someone unable to reach,

With my striving hands!

 

But it is so profound,

That it puts me in restless thoughts,

To reach the height of that light,

And to relish the taste of the top sight!

 

 

 

 

- Swetha.

Susan Katz
2 years ago
Susan Katz 2 years ago

You are definitely a most prolific writer.  I very much enjoy receiving your work.  I like your opening line - it's powerful and purposeful.  I do, however, have some suggestions I'd like to pass on to you, I think will improve the flow and quality of this poem.

A mountain is so high and steep,         "A mountain high and steep

So daring enough to make me deep,   Deep enough to make me daring

In thoughts of reluctance,                     Reluctantly       mighty

He looks so mighty like a king!             Like a king!

 

I think your poem, like nature, would flow more rhythmically and more naturally without extra wording or making the line fit the rhyme.  While rhyme has its place in poetry, it no longer, as in classical times, dictates the wording or rhythm of the poem.  I think you have a true sense of the power, passion, and possibility of poetry - you would benefit greatly if you would read some contemporary poetry and become familiar with how it reads on the page and sounds, when read aloud.

Thank you again for sharing, and for trusting me to critique your work.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

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