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Your friend in poetry, Susan

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Why I write poetry (2 replies and 1 comment)

Seema Dinesh
3 years ago
Seema Dinesh 3 years ago

When my mind is devoid

And filled with doubts,

I open my pages

To pen down my angst.

It brings in a tranquil

That's peaceful and still.

 

 

 

 

 

SeemaD

Susan Katz
3 years ago
Susan Katz 3 years ago

Well done!  May I suggest that ending the next to last line with the word "tranquil" does not work for me because "tranquil" by itself is incomplete.  You could use an image (tranquil sea - tranquil sky, etc.) or, you could add a word that would complete the thought, such as "tranquil mood."  Your poem is well written and has both a poetic and emotional message that I find very moving.  I would definitely consider featuring your poem on my Instagram page once you've had a chance to rethink that one line - or not - the poem is yours and must remain yours - my words are just suggestions that you should ignore if they don't resonate with you.  Thank you so much for sharing, Susan

Seema Dinesh
3 years ago
Seema Dinesh 3 years ago

When my mind is devoid,

And filled with doubts,

I open my pages,

To pen down my angst.

It makes my mood tranquil,

Peaceful and still.

 

 

 

SeemaD

Seema Dinesh
3 years ago

Thank you very much mam for guiding me....

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