New reply from Susan Katz
<p>Thank you so much for sharing your very emotional, intense poem with me. You have managed to capture a mood and a moment in time, with some very well written lines. "To feel the vacant gazes and the empty hopes…" is a very fine line and you have many of them in this powerful poem. I would suggest that you give some of your lines a little more depth, for example: "Dark were the nights I ran in threads to meet." This line seems incomplete to me, as if we are left wondering rather than knowing. "to meet you" "to meet in love – in secret – in desperation?" Just some thoughts to share with you, and my thanks for your interest in www.poetladykatz.com I will be considering your poem for Featured Poem of the Month for December. Your friend in poetry, Susan</p>
https://poetladykatz.com/poetry-talk/a-toska
Original Post by Dreamer
A Toska…
<p>Black was the tongue that tied across the </p>
<p>lullaby you last sang. I hoped to meet you </p>
<p><br />across the heavens and now the cold creeps</p>
<p>up my arm. For loud screamed those silver bells</p>
<p>you left behind to chime. And now in blacks I</p>
<p>hope to thrive to the melodies you left aside. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><br />Was it the time, the four words I refused to </p>
<p>whisper back that kept your scent to linger by? </p>
<p>Or was it the jewelry I never wore to keep it</p>
<p>next to my heart? Oh dear, wouldn't I walk a</p>
<p>million miles if it was next to you that I could </p>
<p>find… My dear, wouldn't I try a thousand more? </p>
<p> </p>
<p><br />And for them could I leave my golds and silvers.</p>
<p>And for them would I part myself a thousand ways.</p>
<p>And for them could I plead till the throats run dry.</p>
<p>Dark were the nights I ran in threads to meet. </p>
<p>the shadows that left. Was it happiness that they </p>
<p>dreaded and wished to drain me of? </p>
<p> </p>
<p><br />Was it twenty seconds or twenty weeks, to stand</p>
<p>in avar, with broken smiles and promises?</p>
<p>To return to places that aren't cynefins.</p>
<p>To feel the vacant gazes and the empty hopes</p>
<p>Was this, my love, a "forever"? </p>
<p>And now my dear, now I let you go……</p>