Poet Lady Katz: new forum reply to Au revoir

New reply from Susan Katz

<p>I can feel your emotional commitment to your poem however, it has a number of grammatical errors, making it very difficult to understand and relate to.  I believe, if you go back to it and spend time correcting grammar and reworking some lines that are a bit confusing, you will find the heart of your poem and be able to offer it to others in a way they will both feel and understand.  I will be happy to see it again, after it has been reworked.</p>
<p>- Susan</p>


Original Post by Comfort

Au revoir

<p> </p>
<p>Let us part like we Pangea, with hopes life we breathe into each other dies not, </p>
<p>Let us kiss and say goodbye, nay let us shake hands as if business concluded, </p>
<p>If eyes ever meet, I hope not brow nor cheeks ever confess that love I once shared,</p>
<p>Yet if chance to be yours once more betakes me I’d servantly bow to the beat of your heart. </p>
<p>I still ache with desire for you thus I must be gravedigger to mines emotions. </p>
<p>If death would seek you I would newly confess my love for you ‘cause even burying them doesn’t kill them. </p>
<p>If a wish I could be grant, I’d wish to be your morning star in the first garden man was birth in, to be your solace on nights when your eyes red with tears as darkness marries you. </p>
<p>Nay this be reality and au revoir all my lips can give to yours.  </p>