Poet Lady Katz: new forum reply to My Bathroom Mirror

New reply from Susan Katz

<p>I really like the concept of your poem.  There are some lovely lines and some very meaningful moments in the poem.    I think you need to check some of the grammar and the meaning of words and how they interact with other words – for example:  'It gazes my smile" is not quite right.  My smile gazes back at me – would work – but the mirror can "reflect" your smile – "mirror" your smile – "echo" your smile but not "gazes" your smile.  Also, may I suggest you read your poem aloud trying to find the rhythm that works and in doing so, you may find there are a number of words you could remove from the poem, without damaging the meaning but, in the end, making the poem even more powerful.  I think you did a great job and really like this poem and where it takes the reader.  Thank you so very much for sharing it with me, Susan</p>


Original Post by Shabnam Ameen

My Bathroom Mirror

<p>It stares me blush,<br />Over the appreciated task. <br />It hears my scream,<br />When I am shattered. <br />It gazes my smile<br />Upon the flattery words.<br />It knows my conspired theory <br />Against the hypocrites.<br />It sees me exhausted <br />At the motherhood age<br />It leverages me up<br />The moments I am broken. <br />It makes me feel lively <br />After the odd spent days.<br />It's aware of changes <br />That my body adapts <br />It still adores my beauty <br />With a beautiful smile.</p>
<p>And that's the virtual 'ME'</p>