Poet Lady Katz: new forum reply to Path to Home

New reply from Susan Katz

<p>You have some very strong, emotional moments in your poem and tell a story of being lost and then, hopefully, finding yourself, finding your way home.  It is a compelling story and one, many of us, can relate to.  Your poem needs some editing – in poetry – less is more.  Find the words that really don't add anything to the telling of your "story" and take them out, perhaps rewriting the lines  Also, check your grammar, as there are a number of places where the word is in the wrong place or there are some issues that simply confuse rather than enlighten.  I believe you have the beginnings of a poem worth working on, worth bringing into the light and I look forward to reading it again, after you've had time to work on it.  I would respectfully suggest you have a look at some of the lessons here on the site.  I think that many of them might help steer you in the direction of turning words on paper, thoughts in your head, into the power of poetry.  Thank you so very much for sharing your work with me, Susan</p>


Original Post by Writerin_closet

Path to Home

<p>Walk a lonely path<br />Dusty and broken <br />Winds gushing on my face<br />Pushing me to change my way</p>
<p>A broken house by the road<br />Withered ,broken in places<br />Yet standing still with its foundation intact<br />Broken yet not destroyed</p>
<p>Not a single bird or a plant seen<br />As if death,Surrounding the road<br />Waiting to take what it wants<br />Chasing after anyone on the path</p>
<p>With the last ray of the twilight<br />The night draws near<br />The end of path draws no close<br />The air turns cold stale <br />As if she herself exhaled her life away</p>
<p>In the distance a single lamp lights<br />Illuminating a path familiar in make<br />A path that I chose not to take before<br />The path I left to walk on this<br />Withered road</p>
<p>The wind itself pushing me on the path<br />Though end of this path too not visible<br />The fragnance of flowers the <br />Life in the atmosphere allures me to it<br />Distant I see a house,<br />Maybe this path leads me home<br />Change is necessary</p>
<p>For we all are looking our way home</p>
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