New reply from Susan Katz
<p>Good Sunday morning, Swetha, Your poem has so many fine moments but, I think you could bring it to an even more meaningful place with a few edits. Please see my suggestions (just suggestions) below…</p>
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<p>I am here (I am here looking – by bringing "looking" to this first line, you have used the poetic technique – enjambment – and I think it works well here)</p>
<p>Looking at the dandelions, ( I would omit the "the" and just say "looking at dandelions)</p>
<p>Pollens waltz in air, (their "pollen waltzing in air…")</p>
<p>Bright and beautiful, ("bright" as ? – "beautiful" as ?_</p>
<p>Taking off in a flight! ("taking flight slowly…")</p>
<p>Slow yet elegant, (elegantly one…)</p>
<p>One after another, (after another flying to…)</p>
<p>Taking off to fly away, (distant lands)</p>
<p>To distant land, facing exquisite emotions! (If you want to tell us they are feeling "exquisite emotions" could you do so with an image instead of just telling us?)</p>
<p>A slow journey, (a slow journey taking them…)</p>
<p>Makes them face the world better. (I think you need a stronger ending here. It's more than just "facing" the world, it's surviving in the world, multiplying and sustaining their species.)</p>
<p>Swetha, this is truly a fine poem and with a little work will be an extremely well-crafted poem, using poetic techniques. I would love to see it again after you've had time to work on it. And by the way, I would love to see this poem flow – like a butterfly – with no punctuation – no capitalization – just "free flight." Have a beautiful day and thank you so much for sharing your work with me. This charming poem lifted my spirits on a gray and rainy day. – Susan</p>
<p>- Swetha.</p>
https://poetladykatz.com/poetry-talk/slow-flight
Original Post by Tiny glowing star
Slow Flight.
<p>I am here,</p>
<p>Looking at the dandelions,</p>
<p>Pollens waltz in air,</p>
<p>Bright and beautiful,</p>
<p>Taking off in a flight!</p>
<p>Slow yet elegant,</p>
<p>One after another,</p>
<p>Taking off to fly away,</p>
<p>To distant land, facing exquisite emotions!</p>
<p>A slow journey,</p>
<p>Makes them face the world better.</p>
<p>- Swetha.</p>
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