Poet Lady Katz: new forum reply to Temptation

New reply from Susan Katz

<p>Well done.  I think you have created a very lovely rhythm and the lines move, one to the other, with fluid grace.  I question, because of the rhythm, the word "deep," as it seems to interrupt the flow.  Does it truly add anything to the poem?  Might I inquire about the word salinity?  Salinity refers to the degree of salt in water.  Perhaps there is another word that manages to sustain the rhythm you've created, that means something more pertinent to the image you are creating.  And, might "had" be "hide?"  I would love to see this again, if you are inclined to do a bit of editing – the work of the poet.  Writing, of course, is the fun part, editing, the hard work we all must address if we choose to bring our poems to their highest level.  Thank you so very much for sharing this well written poem with me.  Your friend in poetry, Susan</p>


Original Post by Vijay


<p> </p>
<p>I drowned in your eyes, mesmerizing, sparkling deep blue,</p>
<p>But failed to understand, you had dark secrets and salinity too..</p>
<p> </p>