Poet Lady Katz: new forum reply to That day of the year.

New reply from Susan Katz

<p>Hi Nadia – thank you for submitting your emotional poem for consideration for Featured Poem of the Month for December.  Your poem has a strong message and a comfortable flow but, there are some moments in the poem, when the English word or combination of words, and the tense (present/past/future) is incorrect.  For example: "<span class="s1">Neglecting the fact thee life is short…"  The word "thee" should be "that" to be read correctly in English.</span></p>
<p><span class="s1">"Hoarding memories before it fades…"  "Memories" is plural, meaning more than one, therefore "fades" should be "fade" – "Bothering" should possibly be "bothered"  and "broke" should, to be correct, be "broken."<br /></span></p>
<p>All of the elements of a very fine poem are here and are just waiting for the hand of the "editor" side of the poet, to jump in and start working on tightening and correcting and turning the first version of the poem, into the finished version of the poem.  I feel your intensity and do believe, you have writing talent.  Thank you again, for sharing your work with me,  Susan</p>


Original Post by nadianeyaz123@gmail.com

That day of the year.

<p><span class="s1">Smoking out frustrated thoughts </span></p>
<p><span class="s1">Neglecting the fact thee life is short</span></p>
<p><span class="s1">Whats coming is almost evident </span></p>
<p><span class="s1">Blurred eyes, mind seems confident </span></p>
<p><span class="s1">Of different lights and different shades</span></p>
<p><span class="s1">Hoarding memories before it fades</span></p>
<p><span class="s1">Remnant energy mingling with smoke</span></p>
<p><span class="s1">Tends Bothering heart, which is broke </span></p>
<p><span class="s1">Life’s all about Misconceptions and wine </span></p>
<p><span class="s1">Inhaling smoke make things fine </span></p>
<p><span class="s1">And Smirking can be like grenades</span></p>
<p><span class="s1">Heathers growing betwixt two barricades </span></p>
<p><span class="s1">Merriment making asinine decisions </span></p>
<p><span class="s1">Sobbing eyes, oriented vision </span></p>
<p><span class="s1">Shrieking like no one’s around </span></p>
<p><span class="s1">Darkness, only place i found</span></p>
<p>                                       – NADIA NEYAZ </p>