New reply from Susan Katz
<p>I can feel the intensity of your poem, the emotion, and the desire to have the reader feel what you're feeling but, I also feel that the desire to rhyme has taken away from the natural flow of words and lines into a more meaningful poetic experience. Poetry does not have to rhyme. It needs to invite us into the experience through the use of imagery (word pictures) line break, and other poetic devices that take the poem from words on paper, to emotions in her hearts, and pictures, so real, we can see them, hear them, feel them, smell them, and taste them. Do spend some time editing (as all poets must) your very self-aware, very important poem and I would be happy to have you submit it again. Your friend in poetry, Susan</p>
https://poetladykatz.com/poetry-talk/the-long-night-apurva-deshpande
Original Post by Slytherin
The long night – Apurva Deshpande
<p>When will this long night end?<br />When will the Sun send, <br />The hopeful rays of light <br />When will it all be bright?</p>
<p>When will all be visible again?<br />Till when will darkness reign?<br />On my mind and around <br />When will light abound?</p>
<p>There hasn't been a night,<br />Scarier than this in sight. <br />When will hope overcome,<br />This fear cumbersome?</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Every night comes to an end<br />A message the morning sends,<br />Don't give up on me, I'll arrive <br />But the night you have to survive.</p>