Reply To: Lost

[Susan Katz]

Thank you for sharing your poem with me.  There is a lot that works here and some very fine moments as you move through the poem.  I particularly like:

A grim face
A horror smile
The darkness swallows me whole
I have lost all control

My main suggestion would be to tighten the poem by eliminating unnecessary words.  In poetry, less is more – for example:  “A grim face

/ horror smile /darkness swallows me whole / I have lost control…”

You definitely have everything you need here for a very powerful poem.  As with all writing, the fun part is writing – the hard part, is editing.  Would love to see it again, if you choose to do some editing.  Again, thank you so much for sharing with me.  I love receiving new poems that enrich my day.  Your friend in poetry, Susan