New reply from Susan Katz
<p>Thank you for sharing your poetry with me. I am a little rushed today, so will spend some time with the poem tomorrow, and get back to you with comments and suggestions. I would just say now, there are some fine moments in the poem and it is filled with a true and intense emotion, that the reader feels. Thank you for sharing – more to come… Susan</p>
https://poetladykatz.com/poetry-talk/dawn
Original Post by Being_oasis
Dawn
<p> </p>
<p>Bells have rung,</p>
<p>Sun now sets,</p>
<p>Fades into the orange depths</p>
<p>Cries I hear, silent roars</p>
<p>Whispers brutal fill my core.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s the heart, you must know</p>
<p>Groaning pain it went through</p>
<p>No sounds, mouth shut</p>
<p>Didn’t let them hear</p>
<p>Being the smile they would want to cheer</p>
<p>Will they buy this façade?</p>
<p>Or will barge in asking questions sour</p>
<p> </p>
<p>O’ you the friend</p>
<p>Who could just see</p>
<p>Things I should not to the bees</p>
<p>Even though I tried to keep</p>
<p>Worries that would otherwise peep</p>
<p>But that simply gorgeous slip</p>
<p>Did let you know my secret scars</p>
<p>Did let you know that teary part</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Since you left for the open road</p>
<p>To a big man in the mortal dorm</p>
<p>To carve your name in the wild storm</p>
<p>To be the kid your mum would want</p>
<p>I know you cried, and I did too</p>
<p>Treacherous world parted us in two.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I still remember those cute days</p>
<p>My stupid jokes, and your laughing face</p>
<p>Hours of talk, and those summer race</p>
<p>How I would beat you in your games</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh so far we’ve come along</p>
<p>Distances between us have so much grown</p>
<p>Now I sit with memories frail</p>
<p>Penning voices, cannot inhale</p>
<p>O’ heavenly string hold us close</p>
<p>Let these tear drops fuel you more.</p>
<p> -Mohammad Owais</p>