Poet Lady Katz: new forum reply to Morning : Mourning of darkness

New reply from Susan Katz

<p>This is a very thoughtful and well conceived poem.  I think it would benefit from editing as, in poetry, less is more – and often there are many words that really don't add anything to the meaning or rhythm of the poem.  I think you have some real talent and would love to see this poem again, after you've had a chance to edit it, if that is something that you are willing to do.  It is too long for my current request for 2 to 4, un-rhymed poems, using imagery.  However, if you do resubmit an edited version, I will be happy to consider it for featuring on my poetladykatz Instagram page, at some future date.  Write on!  Your friend in poetry, Susan</p>


Original Post by parsan.2

Morning : Mourning of darkness

<div dir="auto">Masses of silver shine above,</div>
<div dir="auto">Below stands wilderness.</div>
<div dir="auto">The rain droplets try hard </div>
<div dir="auto">and hard and hard </div>
<div dir="auto">to abate sadness.</div>
<div dir="auto"> </div>
<div dir="auto">The crickets shreik loudly,</div>
<div dir="auto">the canvas of horizon </div>
<div dir="auto">is painted with darkness.</div>
<div dir="auto">Nothing to see, </div>
<div dir="auto">retinas are perplexed,</div>
<div dir="auto">A luminescent firefly gives relief in this state of blindness.</div>
<div dir="auto"> </div>
<div dir="auto">Suddenly, a mass of energy grows in the east.</div>
<div dir="auto">Marigolds assume colour, sparrows celebrate feast.</div>
<div dir="auto">
<div dir="auto"><br />Cicadas turn enigmatic,</div>
<div dir="auto">nests being left by sparrows.</div>
<div dir="auto">Enthusiasm seeps in,</div>
<div dir="auto">heated rush in the bone marrows.</div>
<div dir="auto"> </div>
<div dir="auto">It is the mourning of darkness as it lays pale and still,</div>
<div dir="auto">Light stands proclaiming to the world,</div>
<div dir="auto">I am here to spread positivity. </div>
<div dir="auto">I am determined and I will.</div>
<div dir="auto">I will.  I will.  I will. </div>
<div dir="auto"> </div>
<div dir="auto">
<div dir="auto"><b>Life is an exact replica of sun,</b></div>
<div dir="auto"><b>emerges from darkness, sweet rise then;</b></div>
<div dir="auto"><b>harsh proceedings lead to loss of peace and fun,</b></div>
<div dir="auto"><b>And the final sunset is <i>a battle lost and still won.</i></b></div>