Poet Lady Katz: new forum reply to Poem inspired by your prompts “Dreams” from Lesson 73

New reply from Susan Katz

<p>Good Sunday morning and thank you for sharing your poem with me,  I'm delighted you were inspired to write it by a prompt on the site.  The poem is well written and has some lovely moments.  I will make a few suggestions (please feel free to ignore them) that address the poetic truth, that less is more.  In other words, if a word is not absolutely necessary to the poem, don't include it.  See my suggestions below…  BTW this / indicates a line break)</p>
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<p>Dreams </p>
<p>Are a part of living  (Remove "Are" – just go with Dreams / a part of living)</p>
<p>Fantasy fused with reality  (fantasy fusing with reality)</p>
<p>Thoughts igniting reverie (thoughts igniting reverie forming /)</p>
<p>Forming pictures in my mind (perhaps another more visual word for pictures – like visions or illusions…)</p>
<p>They make ordinary things shine (making ordinary things/)</p>
<p>Everyday I look in wonder (shine        I look in wonder)</p>
<p>And put pen to paper (put pen to paper)</p>
<p>Trying to bring to life (shepherding – conveying – fetching – to life colorful /)</p>
<p>Colorful, vanishing vapors ( vanishing vapors – colorful vanishing vapors slipping)</p>
<p>Slipping away on a string (away on a string)</p>
<p>Of dreams (of dreams…)</p>
<p>Very well done – just a thought – ditch the punctuation and the capitalization – just go with lower case – we don't dream "grammatically" – we dream –  poetically.</p>
<p>Would love to see it again, after you've had time to consider my edits and perhaps apply some of your own.  I will be happy to feature it one day either as poem of the week, or in the Art in to Art section on my site.</p>
<p>Your friend in poetry,</p>
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Original Post by georgia_pearl

Poem inspired by your prompts “Dreams” from Lesson 73

<p>Dreams </p>
<p>Are a part of living </p>
<p>Fantasy fused with reality </p>
<p>Thoughts igniting reverie </p>
<p>Forming pictures in my mind </p>
<p>They make ordinary things shine </p>
<p>Everyday I look in wonder </p>
<p>And put pen to paper </p>
<p>Trying to bring to life </p>
<p>Colorful, vanishing vapors </p>
<p>Slipping away on a string </p>
<p>Of dreams </p>