[Susan Katz]

Thank you for sharing this remarkably emotionally intense and personal poem.  You have taken us on a journey into your heart, as well as your mind.  I was very moved.  The one thing I might suggest, is that your poem, to truly capture the essence of poetry, could use some imagery.  Instead of telling us everything you want us to know, show us – make us feel – be part of the experience, through imagery.  Example: “

I’ve had anticipation for this day

Ever since I could remember      

“I have waited on the edge of hope / trembling in the storm

of despair for a torrent of days

that lie heaped in memory.

This is just an “off the top of my head” example and I’m sure you can do much better.  What poets need to do is incorporate the five senses, and emotion, into their poems – make us see, hear, taste, touch, and smell your thoughts, your hopes, your fears, your desires and, in your case, your ultimate victory.  Do keep on writing – do keep on using poetry as a way to speak your truth – and thank you, so very much, for sharing with me.  I am grateful to have had the chance to “get to know you” through your poem.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

You are most welcome.

[Susan Katz]

Just to let you know, your poem will be one of two poems, featured this coming Friday, for the week, in my Poem of the Week section at https://www.poetladykatz.com I will let my tech team know to tag you on Instagram. – Susan

[Susan Katz]

Will do, Brandon. And thank you, for your interest in, and support of, Poet Lady Katz. I'm always so delighted to connect with people who share my passion for poetry. – Susan

[Susan Katz]

Great poem! Great images! You have managed to help us visualize this scene – this house, and feel the "winter" mood. I will be featuring your poem this week, or next, in my Poem of the Week section. Thank you so much for sharing. Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

This poem is definitely a Suchitra poem.  It has your voice, identifiable, and that’s a wonderful thing to have, as a poet.  This is a strong and beautifully written poem.  Some great lines – “how many seasons/ shall dust our hearts” – “past telephone lines of despair.”  I may have to start calling it “The Suchitra Lata Featured Poem of the Month” page.  However, perhaps we will post this poem next week as poem of the week.  I am planning some big changes on the site, in 2022.  I am hoping to make it more interactive and more accessible.  I am so glad, you found your way to it and share you beautiful (and powerful) poetry with me.  In admiration, Susan

[Susan Katz]

Thank you for submitting this very interesting and lyrical poem.  You have chosen to write in an “old English” style that is both appealing and challenging, for the reader.  I will admit to having some trouble, at times, understanding exactly what you were trying to say but, your rhythms work very well and there is something truly inviting about your work.  I very much appreciate you sharing your poem with me.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

Again, a very warm and touching thought.  Almost lyrical.  The line, however from a grammatical point of view, needs either an “a”  She paints a canvas with her thoughts…” or “She paints canvases (plural) with her thoughts…:”  I do truly like these delightful, one line “poems!”  Again, I thank you for sharing, Susan

[Susan Katz]

This is a lovely thought.  “Poetries” to be grammatically correct, should be “poetry.”  But the simple and touching thought, is quite meaningful.  Thank you so much for sharing.  – Susan

[Susan Katz]

Thank you for submitting your poem for consideration for Featured Poem of the Month.  I have already chosen the December poem, but will consider this poem for our January featured poem.  Your poem is filled with intense emotion and must have required a total commitment on your part, to put those raw feelings into words.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

Thank you so much for submitting your poem for consideration for Featured Poem of the Month.  I have already chosen the poem for December, watch for it to be posted on December 1rst, and will consider your poem for our January feature.  Your poem is wise and speaks to our better natures.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

Thank you so much for submitting your poem for consideration for Featured Poem of the Month for December.  I very much like the way the mood builds in your poem and how you create a sense of “darkness” that takes us on a dramatic journey.  I also think you did a great job with your ending stanza – the “slant” rhyme at the end, works really well.  Good job.

Your friend in poetry,

Susan

[Susan Katz]

You are, truly, one amazingly talented lady – and, your talents spill like sunlight into the wide world of art, into all its many landscapes.  I bear witness to your “art on canvas” talent, and will see it every day, once we hang your stirring painting in our great room.  I have listened to (and saw) your music video and now, you have sent a poem that is truly exceptional in its message, in its imagery, in its poetic value.  Let me expand on that and offer a few simple suggestions:

There is an almost hypnotic flow that invites us into the poem – a rhythm – a word dance that we want to be part of.  There are, however, some moments when trimming a word or two would, I think, tighten the poem and contribute to the musical quality of the lines.  Some examples: 

Green smiles along the blue

The sun mints a coin (I would remove “the” and just go from “blue” to “sun”)

Heartbeats,

Of the graph

And made a body ( I would go with “making” instead of “and made”)

Shaped out of the stars. (again – take out “the” shaped out of stars…)

Finally, I would suggest, in going with the flow of contemporary poetry, you don’t use punctuation and capitalization – this is a thought that has found its way into words on paper – we don’t punctuate or capitalize our thoughts – and I think this extraordinary poem would benefit from that.  Another thought – line break – there is a poetic device called “enjambment” when a line of poetry ends, meaning one thing but, when connected to the next line, means something else.  You have moments where you could play, successfully, with that it your poem.

Thank you for sharing – I will definitely be considering your poem for Featured Poem of the Month for December.  I have found a bright and shining creative star – a world away but, one that speaks to me as though we were sitting together, sharing a glass of wine.

Your friend in poetry and in all things creative, Susan

[Susan Katz]

I notice this is the second poem you’ve submitted and I noticed something else, as well – you have a recognizable voice.  There is a cadence to your poems, the way you arrange the words, that is consistent and resonates with the reader.

Again, as with your other submitted poem, this poem would benefit from some word “cutting.”  Example:  Words like “yet” “and” – “When have you last soared/ seen the sun rise/ dreamed of sunflower fields…”

I very much like your work – I find it meaningful and purposeful and relatable.  I think this poem needs only the poet’s scalpel – a bit of trimming – a bit of editing, here and there, maybe a change of tense in one spot or another, to make it something really very special.

Thank you for submitting your poem for consideration for Featured Poem of the Month for December.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

Good job!  You have some very meaningful and powerful moments in your poem and you take us on the journey of the poet – from pain to purpose – to poetry.  I’m happy to consider your poem for Featured Poem of the Month for December.

I think you have done a fine job with this poem and would only suggest that you consider moments in the poem, that would benefit from imagery.  Example: “And makes tears flow from our eyes…”  Question – do you need “and makes” could not the line start with – “tears flow from our eyes (and here is where a great image could go) “tears flow from our eyes like…”

Also, I wonder, as poems are described as “the fewest words in the best possible order” – if you might not want to consider moving through your poem by taking out the repetition of “I found…”  “But I found a wand/ a pen/ spells/ a page/ a remedy/ for our souls…”

Well done – thank you so much for sharing your work with me, Susan

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