Forum Replies Created

Viewing 15 posts - 301 through 315 (of 572 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • in reply to: Be like a Crow #18497
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Thank you so much for sharing your poem with me.  You have a bit of an issue with the translation into English and so I have a bit of trouble understanding exactly what it is you are saying.  Only what bird sit(s) at (on) top of the eagle – who is “our” in the second line and, not sure what “structure” you are referring to.  Be brave like a crow – says it well and is very to the point.  If you would like, please spend a bit of time editing and then resubmit.  I would love to be able to feature your poem in one of my upcoming Instagram posts.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

    in reply to: Defeat #18496
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Well done!  Short and to the point.  While I would have liked to have an image for your “inner demons” rather than your telling me you have them, I think you have managed to convey some very strong feelings with just a very few words – and that is exactly what poetry is all about.  I will feature your poem, within the next couple of weeks, on my Instagram page.  Thank you so much for sharing,  Susan

    in reply to: Girl #18495
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Thank you for sharing your very short, very tight, very meaningful poem with me.  Once again, and I’ve said this to everyone who has submitted a poem over the past weeks – don’t work so hard to rhyme your poem.  I would rather be reading images that make me feel than reading lines that end in a rhyme.  Rhyme has its place in poetry, but far more powerful and meaningful is the image (metaphor and simile) or a dramatic line break or alliteration (using the same letter sound over again – example: “She smiled slyly and seductively…”)  I wonder if you would consider doing a bit of editing and then resubmitting.  I think you have the beginnings of something I would like to share.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Thank you for sharing your poem with me.  You have a lovely theme and some very fine lines but I do think your poem would benefit greatly from editing.  I love the lines that make us feel or see or smell or touch or taste and think you should concentrate on images like “rocks are re-enactments of women’s hearts” though I am not sure what that image is supposed to make me feel.  Do women have hearts of stone?  Is that a good thing?  I would love to see your poem again after you’ve had a chance to do some editing and applying more in the way of imagery (metaphor and simile) and line break and alliteration – all those wonderful language devices that turn words and lines into the magic of poetry.  Write on…  Your friend in poetry, Susan

    in reply to: SCARS #18493
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Very emotional and very powerful.  Thank you so much for sharing with me.  There are some moments in your poem where your translation into English is a bit rough – for example (it is not “another” but “other” scars…)  I would love to feature your poem in one of my Instagram posts after you’ve had a chance to edit it a bit.  Please, when done, resubmit and again, very strong moments in you poem.  I had a poet friend who used to tell me, “always right up to the best part of your poem.”  I have tried to follow his advice.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

    in reply to: A question #18492
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Poetry is many things and it is expressed in many different ways.  Poetry must touch us emotionally, so getting those words out that you are too afraid to say, is exactly what writing poetry is all about.  In poetry, the way we express what we are feeling is through the magic of imagery.  Instead of saying “I was afraid” we may say “I felt like a leaf in an approaching storm.”  We transform our feelings into images so that others may feel what we are feeling, but in their own personal way.  I believe you are truly interested in writing poetry and I would suggest that you simply put your feelings down and then, do what all poets do, go back to what you’ve written and by applying poetry techniques (imagery/line break/alliteration, etc.) turn your words into a poem.  Wishing you wondrous good luck!  Your friend in poetry, Susan

    in reply to: 404: HUMANITY NOT FOUND #18491
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    You certainly managed to get a lot of information and emotion into your poem and I thank you very much for sharing it with me.  It is too long for me to consider for featuring on my Instagram page, for this week’s poetry submission feature.  I would, as I have said to many others, suggest you back off a bit on the rhyme and try to incorporate more in the way of imagery (metaphor and simile.)  Poetry should make us see, hear, taste, touch, and smell and then, react emotionally.  You have all the ingredients for a very fine poem, you just need to do the hard job, all poets must do, of editing.  Thank you again for sharing your work with me, Susan

    in reply to: A Haze of Stardust #18490
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Thank you for sharing this very intimate and loving poem with me.  It is a bit longer than what I am able to feature on my Instagram page, for this submission request period.  Also, I would like to suggest that perhaps, trying so hard to rhyme may detract from the real emotion you are trying to express.  Poetry does not always need to rhyme but it does always, need to make us feel!  Find a way to express what you are feeling through the magic and power of imagery (metaphor and simile.)  Your friend in poetry, Susan

    in reply to: RELATIONSHIP WITH NATURE – ABHI SHARMA #18489
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    I am a nature lover myself and have spent many a day embraced by the power and beauty of blue lakes, blue skies filled with puffy white clouds, and mountains looming in the distance.  I like, very much, where your poem takes us, I just wonder if it could take us there without rhyming every line.  I think it detracts from the picture you are trying to create.  In nature things are often haphazard, boulders fall and clouds turn dark.  I think you poem needs to sound and feel more “natural” and that would happen, I believe, if you weren’t so insistent upon rhyming the end of every line.  I am particularly worried about the last two lines as I feel you really “reached” for that rhyme.  Just a thought I thought I’d pass along to you,  I thank you very much for sharing your work with me.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

    in reply to: Limitless #18488
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Thank you for sharing your poem with me.  It is light and lovely and I would only ask that you reconsider your first rhyme – “dream and cream.”  It seems a bit contrived and, I think, takes away from the bright and uplifting image you are trying to create.  Not every line has to rhyme and often, poetry works best when not rhyming.  Just a thought for you to consider.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

    in reply to: My shady soul- Muskan Antil #18487
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Thank you so much for sharing your very heartfelt poem with me.  I can feel the emotion you are trying to express.  I wonder if you would be interested in editing your poem – shortening it and using more in the way of images.  It is too long for me to feature in my current submission request but, perhaps, if you were to tighten it and create more in the way of “visual” images, I might be able to use it in the coming weeks.  Again, I am so happy to have had a chance to read your poem.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

    in reply to: Pitstop #18486
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Not this week – but the following week. Sorry to have mislead you about the timing.

    in reply to: The night #18485
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Sorry, your poem won't be appearing this coming week, but the following week.

    in reply to: Trees #18484
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Thank you for sharing your poem with me.  I am a “tree fan” so I could easily relate to your poem and liked the vision of trees being nature’s warriors.  I will be featuring your poem on my Instagram page, one day next week.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

    in reply to: The night #18483
    Susan Katz
    Keymaster

    Short, crisp, and to the point.  Well done.  I like the idea that the “day (is) waiting for a new fight.”  It is true that life is challenging and that we may not be prepared for it with our “moon bright and dreamy eyes…”  I will be featuring your poem, one day this coming week, on my Instagram page.  So, stay tuned, and thank you for sharing.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

Viewing 15 posts - 301 through 315 (of 572 total)