[Susan Katz]

Very nice!  Just one suggestion – you don’t need the “a” before the word “gold.”  There is love and kindness and a quiet, healing joy in this very brief poem and I like it very much.  I will definitely consider it for featuring on my poetladykatz Instagram page, in the next two weeks.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

Such a very warm and loving poem.  Thank you for sharing it with me.  What I would have liked to have seen is something in the way of imagery.  For example: A hug can heal you in seconds – a hug, warm as a…  a hug, like a….  And, in your last line, perhaps you could give us an image for “hurt.”  That heals you whenever tears run like rain down your cheeks…  Just a few suggestions that I hope will inspire your to explore the wonderful world of imagery (metaphors and similes.)  I will consider your poem for featuring, over the next two weeks, on my poetladykatz Instagram page.  But, I would be so happy to see it edited (adding imagery) and resubmitted.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

I thank you for submitting this very emotional poem with some very fine poetic moments.  It is unfortunately, too long for my current request for two to four line, un-rhymed poems using imagery, but you do definitely have a feel and talent for poetry, so please do keep on writing.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

Interesting little poem that seems to be a kind of “self awareness” moment.  I like it and though it moves simply from line to line, it does get your message across.  I would, perhaps, like to see an image or two in your poem – for example (mind still unclear – as what – unclear as cloudy water, a cloud filled sky, mist on the mountains…?)  Poetry should be visual, should paint pictures for us and I think your poem has all the possibility of being a very fine poetic picture.  I will be considering your poem for featuring in a future poetladykatz Instagram page post, but would love to see it resubmitted with some editing with an eye towards imagery.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

Thank you for sharing this very well conceived poem using imagery.  My one concern is the word “glee”” that seems somehow to be there because it rhymes, not so much for the meaning it adds to the poem.  Please remember, poetry does not have to rhyme to be poetry.  I am impressed with the rest of your poem and, if you would consider another word for the ending, would be happy to consider it for featuring in a future Instagram, poetladykatz post.  I am very grateful for your interest in what I do here, and I am, your friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

Thank you for sharing your poem with me.  I feel the emotion and the uncertainty that the poem is expressing and there is a nice (and happy) resolution to the poem.  I would have liked to have seen more in the way of images (less telling and more showing) but there is no doubt that this poem came from the heart.  It is a bit long for me to consider for my current request for 2 to 4 line, un-rhymed poems, using imagery.  But I am very grateful for your interest in poetladykatz and thank you, once again, for sharing your work with me.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

What a very lovely tribute, poetically, to “Mom.”  May I suggest that the word you want in your first line is “me” not “my.”  And I would also suggest that your remove the commas and just let the lines flow one into another.  I will definitely, if you think the edits will work for you, consider your poem for featuring on my Instagam poetladykatz page one day in the next couple of weeks.  Thank you so very much for sharing you work with me, Susan

[Susan Katz]

You certainly have a lyrical voice and your poem echoes back to a more rhymed and metered era of poetry.  You have captured some delightful moments of nature’s transformation and the beauty of the arrival of spring.  I am, currently, looking for 2 to 4 line poems, not rhyming, to feature on my Instagram page.  I thank you so much for sharing and want you to know I very much enjoyed reading your poem.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

This is a very interesting poem with some lovely moments.  I am, however, a bit confused by the language.  “Healing the heart by friend’s tides – Beneath the Earth wonders will unfold” – not sure what this means – also the last lines could be clearer, as well.  I do think it is a translation issue.  I do think you are saying that if we grow love and friendship we will magnify the “good” of the world, but it is very hard to hear that the way the words come together.  I love the concept, the rhythm, the tone – I think it just needs a bit of editing to make sure you have the right words in the right order, to say what it is you are hoping to say.  Thank you so much for sharing your work with me.  You friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

What a “passionate” and loving poem.  I like the image that you carry throughout the poem, of “life as a train ride” inevitably reaching its destination.  “Love and smiles must nourish life.” is a very nice line.  I congratulate you on your effort and thank you so much for sharing your poem with me.  At the moment, I am only featuring 2 to 4 line poems on my Instagram page, but do know I was very pleased to read your work.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

I very much like the way your poem ends – that twist – that “you’ll never find me again!”  Your poem has a gentle and rather sad tone to it, that I do believe readers will relate to.  I would have liked to have seen more in the way of imagery in your poem – for example: reckless thoughts confusing as what?  Nostalgia – like what?  What is an image that describes the nostalgia you’re feeling?  Of thoughts as reckless as…?  Still, even without imagery your poem does convey feelings, deep emotions, and has a very nice rhythm to it.  I will consider it for featuring on my Instagram page, but would love it if you did some editing and resubmitted.  Thank you so much for sharing your work with me and for your interest in poetladykatz.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

[Susan Katz]

Thank you so much for this very well written and very intriguing poem.  I like the rhythm, the way the poem moves from line to line, taking us along on, what turns out to be, a slightly unexpected destination.  I like your “slant rhymes” and the energy of your images.  I will be featuring your poem, in the next two weeks, on my poetladykatz Instagram page.  I thank you so much for your interest in poetladykatz and for sharing your poem with me.  Write on!  – Susan

[Susan Katz]

Very nice.  I will feature your edited poem in a future poetladykatz Instagram post.  I’m impressed with how you reconsidered your poem and brought your thoughts and your message together in a lovey, lyrical way.   – Susan

[Susan Katz]

Thank you for submitting your very insightful poem.  I think your poem might benefit from some research into English grammar, though I will say, I think you did a powerful job of getting your message across.  I like where you intend your poem to end, but think you need to reword that last line so that it says what you want it to.  Both are seldom – (plural since there are two) found (in?) bliss (in the form of?) bliss (as) bliss.  As written, it is a bit confusing.  I am very grateful for your interest in poetladykatz and thank you again, for sharing your work with me.  – Susan

[Susan Katz]

Nice!  One suggestion – might it be more to the point to say “massacred (by) unrighteousness?”  The line seems just a little off by the use of the word “in.”  I do, however, very much like your poem – the tight fist of it and the potent message, and the lovely rhythm.  I will definitely be considering your poem to be featured on my poetladykatz Instagram page in the next week or two.  Thank you for sharing.  Your friend in poetry, Susan

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